cefa™ parent says, September 3, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Dear Ms. Beim,
Firstly, thank you so much for the wonderful program that my daughter enjoys so much at cefa™! We love the school, and the teachers and staff are so wonderful!
My daughter is two years old, and my question is: How do we avoid temper tantrums when they come?
Dear cefa parent:
Thank you for your question, and I am so glad that you are enjoying your time at cefa™!
Firstly, to learn to avoid temper tantrums, we need to understand why they happen. Normally, these occur at a time when your daughter is not fully able to express her emotions, or know how to “deal” with them. She is going through a great deal of changes, and learning to be herself, independently from you. There are also hormonal changes happening at that time, and it is one of the times when you child will most need your support and understanding.
As embarrassing and inopportune as these are when they happen, they are normal, and despite your best efforts, will happen sometimes. The first thing to do to avoid them is to avoid any situations that may trigger a tantrum:
– taking your daughter to the supermarket or somewhere very busy when she is too tired to help you or you are in too much of a hurry to let her experience it at her own pace.
– running errands or shopping for extended periods of time, where your daughter has to follow you and stay close to you at all times, and has nothing interesting to do in the meantime.
– taking your child anywhere when she is in need of a nap first.
It seems very simplistic, but there is not much to it. All you need to do is stay in tune with your child and her needs (which may not be the same from one week to the next – that is how fast children grow!) and avoid situations where you have to say “no”. Instead, try saying “yes” and tell them when. This avoids many conflicts, and is so easy to do! For example: “mommy, can I have a piece of cake?” “of course you can! let’s save it for you so you can have it as soon as we have our dinner!”. Most children will not be upset by this because you have said yes, and the timeline is logical. If they do oppose, or ask you to have it right now, still show them empathy, but always stay consistent with your answer: “I know it is very tempting to have it now, it looks so good, doesn’t it? The thing with sweet things is that they trick your tummy into thinking that it’s full, and they won’t let you eat your dinner, which you need! What we eat at dinner is what feeds our muscles and our body, and what we need to keep growing and stay healthy. Cake won’t help you grow, but it’s ok to have it sometimes. We just have to make sure that we have it at the right time so it doesn’t trick us! If we eat something sweet and nothing good beforehand, we have a tummy ache, but if we eat it after dinner, it won’t. Now i know you really want to have this cake as soon as possible, what could we do to make this happen?” and help your child think of a solution. Perhaps she will help you prepare dinner so it can be served earlier!
The secret to avoiding temper tantrums is keeping your child in control of her own decisions as much as possible. This can only be done if you take the time to explain the reasons behind your own decision, and give her room to present you with a good alternative if there is one. This is very different from giving in to your child’s tantrum, which you should not do since it will give her the message that as long as she screams long enough, she will get her way. This means that, like in the example above, she knows why you responded as you did (you gave her valid reasons that she can understand), and she knows you trust her to come up with an alternative solution, and that you will consider that solution when presented to you. Many parents rush the process by saying “no”, but there is so much to gain by helping them problem-solve!
Now, if your child is having a temper tantrum, the only thing to do is to get down to her level and hold her until it subsides, letting her know that you are there for her. Remember that it is not something that she can control once it happens, and the worst thing to do is to get angry at her (which means she can’t count on you in her times of need) or give in (which will encourage her to have a tantrum in the future when she wants something). As embarrassing as it may be, drop what you are doing and help her calm herself. If you can, go somewhere quiet.
I will be happy to help you come up with alternatives if you write specific examples as well. There is so much to be gained from helping our children find solutions to their problems, and it is a skill they must learn. Remember, just find a way to say no by saying yes!
Vancouver Parent Says, September 3, 2009 at 9:31 pm
What is the difference between daycare and junior kindergarten?
Parent of 3 children
Hello! Thank you for your question!
The difference is exactly the same as grade 5 compared to after school care. In Junior Kindergarten (like in elementary school), you learn reading, writing, math, science an much more, whereas in daycare (like in after school care) you can play and participate in activities, but there is not a curriculum that teachers have to follow, or activities they must present. For the same reason that no parent would choose to leave their child in after school care all day instead of having them attend school, no parent should choose a less stimulating program for their young child, given the choice.
By age 6, the child’s brain is fully formed. It is very important that you choose a program that is designed to stimulate brain development at this crucial stage. This does not mean starting worksheets or algebra, it means having teachers trained to recognize the developmental level of each individual child, and presenting activities that are rich in content and that meet the child at that level of development.
At Core Education & Fine Arts, out Teachers have experience and training as Early Childhood Educators, but they also have an additional year of training as junior kindergarten teachers, that allows them to present more complex activities for reading, writing, math and sciences, as well as for art, dance, drama and other essential elements of a balanced education.
Most other countries in the world have 3 years of kindergarten before children start school. Canada and the United States don’t and it is, in my opinion, an incredible disadvantage. Children really want to learn and explore, and I think many parents fear it will be too strict, or too soon, but if you walk into one of our school, you will see that there is nothing strict about our educational method. We inspire children to develop their reasoning skills, to learn, to question things, to come up with projects, to contribute to society, and in the process, they learn to read and write (if and when they are ready). If you have not already done so, I really encourage you to visit our junior kindergartens and see for yourself the difference it makes to stimulate children earlier.
The Canadian Government is now saying that Junior Kindergarten is very important, and it really is. We have known that for years, and have made it happen for thousands of BC children, all of which are doing well at school now. To educate your children during the most crucial developmental period of their lives will be one of the most important decisions we will make for them, and one that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I strongly encourage every parent to at least visit a junior kindergarten before they decide.
Single Mother 2 Children Says, September 3, 2009 at 10:35 pm
What advantages are there to young children being away from there parents at such a young age?
Well, there is more than one thing to consider when answering this question. Firstly, no one will deny the importance of a strong bond between a child and his family, and this requires time and commitment as a parent. The time a child will spend with his parents is irreplaceable. Once you have decided to become a parent, you must make sure that you make all the sacrifices necessary. This means making sure that you have time each day to spend with your child, to play, to chat, to hug, to listen. No one else should be doing this for you.
This does not mean, however, that some time away from the family unit to explore a wonderful universe with children their age, volcanoes that explode in front of their eyes, puppets that come alive, songs they have never heard before, games they can play with friends, squishy paint between their toes and on their bellies, sand and water play, new toys, and other children’s laughter, is not beneficial: It is.
When children go to “school”, they are offered many new possibilities that a home environment cannot always offer, and they are learning from other children as well, which they can’t do in the same way at home, or by going to the park, where there is not such a strong bond since the “group” is seldom the same. Children are exposed to so much when the program is good, that if balanced with a healthy family life, is incredibly beneficial.
I am an elementary school teacher, specialized in junior kindergarten. Before I started cefa™, I did not have children. I had taught young children and seen how much they enjoyed a good program, and how deep the friendships formed could be. I remember thinking at that time, that although, as a teacher, I was perfectly capable to give my children (when I had them) all the necessary early education I had seen other children benefit from, there was no question in my mind that having them experience those skills with other children was much more beneficial to them than what I alone could give them, even if my entire day was dedicated to my children. It was then that I decided to open my own school. I was married shortly after that, and had two beautiful children who went to cefa 5 days a week. To this day (and they are now 7 and 10), they remember their school very fondly, and wish they could still be at cefa today. They talk to their new friends about it, and they still have many “best” friends the met when they were 2 years old, at school.
As a mother or father, the important thing to remember is to make time each and every day to connect with your children. To be there for them, share their successes and their sad days when there are some, help them grow, play games, listen to them, and share your life with them as well. If you are doing this, I think you will find that there is still time in that day to have them enjoy school with a group of friends their age. If you choose the right program, this time “away” from you will be extremely beneficial to them (and to you!). They will learn to learn from other people and other environments, they will form their own personality and not be as dependent on you when making decisions, and they will learn to bond with others (adults and children) as they have bonded with you. The advantages are many, and they will also be more prepared when entering elementary school, as they will have learned to socialize in a different setting than home, and to work with teachers and peers.
I believe that some time away from their parents will benefit children greatly if spent in the right environment, and even enhance their development. You do not have to start them when they are so young, you can wait until you both feel comfortable, or you can choose a program where you can attend two or three days a week (this is why at cefa we offer part-time programs as well), but I would definitely recommend that you have them experience the great benefits of early learning away from home, before they start kindergarten
Suzanne Says, September 4, 2009 at 3:04 pm
My husband and I are very interested in the cefa program. However, the cost of your program is markedly higher than daycare and frankly, higher than we can afford. Is your market upper middle class only?
Thank you for your candid feedback. We definitely want to offer junior kindergarten education to all children, and are working with the government to make it happen (which is not a fast process
The reason for our fees is that our schools do not receive any funding in order to operate, which means that parents, through their tuition fees, pay for everything. Most of our money goes to pay our teachers, our rent, and to purchase the material we need in order to provide a program of this calibre. We have tried very hard to keep our tuition as low as possible, and always try to find better ways to make it happen. All this being said, we are still much less expensive than a nanny, and less expensive also than a pre-school if you compare on a per-hour basis (2 hours at cefa versus 2 hours at a pre-school). Your average daycare, which has no educational component but has long hours, costs between $700 and $1,300 monthly. Although we are not a daycare, we do offer an all-day program with nutritious food, field trips and co-curricular activities included in the tuition price, for $1,245 per month.
Unlike many other programs, we have to pay for our own rent (and rent in BC is extremely costly), and we do not receive funding to pay our staff. I believe in our program, and I would not offer any less to young children. I think that we as parents and educators must work together to ensure that every child in Canada has access to a stimulating program. I am doing it one school at a time, but it is my hope that one day soon, the government will provide it for all children equally.
I encourage you to voice your opinion, and together, we will make it happen!
Tara Weiser mommy of 3 Says, September 6, 2009
What is the difference between Montossori and cefa?
This is a question we get asked all the time! Both Montessori and cefa are methodologies that aim to stimulate the child’s development by working with specific curriculum. However, although cefa has taken the best of the Montessori curriculum and incorporated it into its own, cefa goes beyond the strict Montessori guidelines to offer a curriculum that better reflect the needs of our children and the realities of our school system today. For a better comparison, you can refer to the chart incorporated here:
6. Lan Parker, ECE graduate Says:
September 10, 2009 at 4:13 am | Reply edit
I have heard much about your schools over the last few months. would hope that you please take the time answer the following questions as a potential teacher I would like to know as I’m sure other individuals in my position would.
I’m curious to know how the training of the teachers are any different if at all then any other school? What credentials does one need to be a teacher at Core Education? What training have you yourself received?
Firstly, thank you so much for your interest in our program!
Our one year training program is taken in addition to your Early Childhood Education certification, and teaches you to become a Junior Kindergarten Teacher basically: It teaches you why it is important to teach a child to read earlier, how to teach it, what type of literature is recommended, how to set up your class library and your at home reading program (for your students), and it does the same for reading (what is important to develop in a child as pre-writing skills, from babies to 5 or 6 year olds, how to set up and create material and games to make it happen without resorting to worksheets, etc. For math, we explain what is important about math (which is not necessarily what they learn but how they come to that understanding), what to have in your curriculum, etc. We do the same for science, art, culture immersion, yoga, etc. We also teach you to contribute to a shared curriculum and to create your own games, projects and materials, but more importantly, how to observe, document and teach intuitively, rather than how to use a specific set of material. We teach you to create a harmonious environment with very few and very diluted transitions, and to introduce the children to the wonderful world around us
I am an elementary school teacher myself, specialized in Junior Kindergarten Education. I have taught for the French system of education, but I have also developed a methodology that embraces early learning teaching objectives and respects the child and his/her process of discovering knowledge. I have also studied early learning, psychology and development. I am still studying and researching each week, as well as visiting other programs in their countries of origin (such as Reggio Emilia for instance). We aim to provide a program of international standards, and inspire educators worldwide to challenge their perceptions on early learning and work collaboratively in creating an incredible program for our young children.
Thank you again Lan for taking the time to ask such insightful questions!
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